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May, 2021 |
Uncategorized

Race shouldn’t matter when dating.

Isn’t it possible that some White people just accept anyone that’s interesting to them regardless of the color of their skin? I feel like I’m being put into a box suggesting I should maybe stick to my own race. OBVIOUSLY, you can see the color of the person you’re with, but if you’re not a racist, and it’s not a fetish, and you see no more value in a White person than anyone else, why limit yourself to your own race? My wife likes White guys. I like Hispanic women. We’re really hap together and race has never been an issue in the 8 years we’ve been married. I’ve dated Black girls, Asian girls, Middle Eastern girls: yes, Muslims included, Jewish girls, Native American women, and, obviously, Hispanic women. The majority of the women I have dated were White. But the longest relationships I had were with Hispanic women. It wasn’t by design, it just worked out that way. I was as happy with the White girls as anyone else: at the time. I am attracted to the Latin culture and I make no apologies for that. It’s not a feti9sh. I’ve always just been really into their music, their art, their theater, their architecture, and everything else. Yes, I think the women are exotic. So? I’ve always like brunettes whether they’re White, Hispanic, whatever race. I like darker skin, dark eyes, dark hair. It’s just a look that I really like. If I were single, I wouldn’t be looking for someone Hispanic, Black, Asian, or whatever, I’d be looking for someone with the characteristics that appeal to me AND who is interesting and kind. The packaging doesn’t matter if the inside is rotten. I think sometimes people read too much into these things. People like who they like.

That being said, I have dated girls over the years that were White that said I was the first White guy they’d been with, that they only date Black guys. And I’m like, “How is that possible?” How can you exclude every other race? That I have a problem with. I’ve been with Black girls who said the same thing: they only like White guys. Again, how is that possible? You have no basis of comparison. How do you know you only like White or Black if you’ve only been with one group? THAT seems racist. Even if it’s your own race, because I know people like that, too, that think the races shouldn’t mix. It’s just strange thinking to me. And I was raised in a conservative household with a moderately racist father that I still don’t think gets how what he says is racist. I spent most of my life living in the inner city, New Haven, CT for 20 years, and Bridgeport for 7. But I grew up in the burbs. I just moved back to the city as soon as high school was over because I hate homogenous. It makes me really uncomfortable. And I in no way feel guilty for what the other guy did, I’m not trying to make up for the past that I didn’t live, I just do my best to not be part of the problem, and to be an active part of the solution. Not by dating, in daily life, I mean. Simple things like treating everyone with the same amount of respect, lobbying my representatives for change, taking part in the discussions, and so forth.

As for dating, I haven’t found any explicit advantage to dating anyone of any race, my own included. I don’t think Black girls or Hispanic girls or anyone else are better in bed, or anything like that. I don’t feel like it gives me access to anything I didn’t have access to before. I just like who I like. My wife, on the other hand, would say there are advantages to being with me, but she’s being more tongue-in-cheek when she says it than being serious. I’m sure there are some advantages, and I’m fine with that, although it’s sad commentary on the world we live in. Everyone should be the same. And eventually we will be. Race is disappearing in this country, and eventually it will in the whole world. Wouldn’t that be nice, to all just be: people?

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