Do you people understand the difference? I had an 85 Ford Tempo that I could drive fast. 85 or so if I pushed it. I also had a 95 Mazda Protege that I could drive fast when I wanted to. I currently have a 2008 Subaru Impreza WRX. That’s a fast car that I don’t have to push to go fast. It’s just fast. Like pocket rocket fast. The reason I ask is I see a lot of you on the roads putting along, but when you see me, suddenly, you see red. I see the car lurch forward as you punch the gas to try and beat me to the next light. More often than not, I don’t do anything other than continue to drive. Just like when I’m doing 85 in the fast lane on the highway and a Ford Expedition comes flying up behind me, I change lanes. What annoys me is you were in the middle lane till I passed you. Then you felt the need to prove something.
One of these days I’m going to follow you, and when you stop, I’m going to ask if it felt good, and do you feel better for making it to the next whatever before me. Then I’m going to ask you if you want to go somewhere and race for cash. Or even just for bragging rights. Most of the time, it’s men who do this crap to me, so if it’s who’s penis is bigger, we can skip racing and just unzip and see who’s is bigger. I particularly like that idea because no matter what’s under the hood of your car, you’re kinda stuck if your Willie is tiny. At the end of the day, I got my car because I like it. Not to race those of you with something to prove. So go find someone else to bother, see a plastic surgeon and find out if penis enlargement works yet, find a hobby. I don’t care, just please, please: stop pissing me off.
The Driver (Adam Smith)
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“Kick Rocks” Pizza Delivery Nightmares by Adam Smith is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License