Pizza Delivery

There are so many times I wanted to push a bad tipper off of a cliff. I recommend seeing the movie “Waiting” to see what could happen if you don’t tip or are a bad tipper. I’ve been delivering for over ten years and owned my own place for two years (didn’t work out). Take tonight: My last order was two towns away. Twelve miles round trip. My car gets 20 miles a gallon so that’s roughly half a gallon of gas. Gas is currently $3+ in CT so it COST me $1.50 to bring the guy his $45 order. I get $8 an hour taxed. So before tax, I’m at $6.50 for that hour. I got a $1.49 tip. Totally wrong. They always do it. I hate that one house. It’s in a rich town with a bunch of snobs who could care less. We usually take our time to their house, take any other order we have first even if it cam after that one, and drivers accidentally drop their sodas 5 or 6 times on the way.
The order I took before that one was half the distance, the total was $16.09, the woman gave me $20 and said keep the change. Totally on the mark.

Whoever posts tipping guides at various websites should really try working for tips. If you’re a waiter: by all means, live wit the idea 15% is enough. As a driver paying for gas, insurance, maintenance, and risking my life in all sorts of weather and sometimes in very bad neighborhoods (like Bridgeport, CT), getting a 15% tip on a $12 pizza is like a slap in the face and you’ll go on my shitty tipper list. That would be $1.80 for an order that could be in bad weather, in a bad neighborhood, where the idiot customer has no number on the house or the number matches the color of the house (impossible to read from the car at night), and let’s you wait outside for ten minutes while they look for money.

That’s another thing: if an order is ever late, odds are it was the kitchen that messed it up or it’s really busy, not the driver. If you choose to show you displeasure by not tipping you are making sure everyone from the phone girl to the owner gets their full wage, even though they are probably who made your order late, and you are screwing the person who tried to get it there asap. So if you see donuts in your yard, or the mailbox is gone, or your house gets egged, that’s probably why.

Some drivers will let it go. I do, but I send out postcards anonymously thanking them for being shitty tippers.

The Driver (Adam Smith)

© Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com, 2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Adam Smith and drivershout.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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“Kick Rocks” Pizza Delivery Nightmares by Adam Smith is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License

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